1- Arn Anderson is such a class act.
2- Triple H and Shawn Michaels are still hilarious and deserve their own television show.
3- Why oh why did they let Mike Tyson speak?
4- Mil Mascaras, Yokozuna, and Ron Simmons deserved alot more than a 60 second montage.
5- Thank you Edge.
Now as for Raw, it aired live last night from the Continental Airlines Arena in Miami, FL and it started off with John Laurinaitis addressing the locker room about what to expect during his reign as general manager of both Raw and Smackdown, but was interrupted by WWE champion CM Punk. After Punk informed Johnny that the entire locker room still thought he was "a giant toolbox", Punk was rewarded with being forced to defend his title later against Mark Henry. If you ask me, it was worth it.
Now we go out to the ring and are treated to a 10 minute ring entrance by The Rock. Literally, I'm not kidding. It took that egomaniac 10 minutes from start to finish before he even spoke. And when he did finally speak it took another 10 minutes to basically say he was sticking around and setting his sights on being champion. Okay the part about the whistling fan was pretty funny, I'll give him that.
The first match of the night was another John Laurinaitis punishment being dished out. US champion Santino, defended his title against both Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger in a triple threat match. Being that Santino is an over the top goofball, I was actually looking forward to seeing him pummeled, but he held his own and retained the title. However, after the match when "Sw-iggler" tried to gang up on him, he was rescued by none other than the Funkasauras, Brodus Clay.
Then we were set for Lord Tensai's big debut. He came to the ring all mysterious but looking like he was trying to impersonate Shredder from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movies (Kevin Nash ought to be pissed). Accompanied by his Japanese man servant Sakamoto. Now we were told that Tensai was a former WWE superstar that became a huge deal while competing over in Japan. It turned out to be Prince Albert or A-Train or whatever you wanted to call him. The match ended up being a 5 minute shellacking of poor Alex Riley. Hey WWE, here's an idea. Try developing young talent like Riley instead of focusing so much money and attention on people that no one cares about like A-Train.
Time for the WWE championship match between CM Punk and Mark Henry. It got off to a slow start because of the size difference between these two, Punk did a good job of trying to take Henry down with his speed and quick hands and feet. (Muay Tai has its advantages.) But eventually, Henry got his hands on Punk and did some more damage to Punk's already injured back. The match ended when Henry tossed Punk out of the ring, and he was counted out. Not too smart of a move by Mark since he can't win the title by countout. So he took out his frustrations by performing the "World's Strongest Slam" on Punk outside the ring. Leaving Punk wide open for more taunting by Chris Jericho. Jericho entered from the crowd and continued making fun of Punk's family, and decreed that it was time they shared a drink. (Obviously mocking Punk's "straight edge" lifestyle of no drinking, smoking, or drug use.) He retrieved a bottle of "alcohol" from the time keeper area (which led me to wonder how the time keeper can keep accurate time if he's three sheets to the wind every week.) and poured it over Punks face while he was lying prone on the floor and then smashed the bottle on his head. Officials came out to carry Punk backstage.
We were then visited by the new world champion Sheamus. Who was quickly interrupted by another returning superstar, Alberto Del Rio. Alberto spent about 5 minutes telling us all how great he was and then informed Sheamus that he was gunning for the World championship. Alberto was then on the receiving end of a Brogue kick to the face, much to the delight of the crowd, and myself.
The next match was between the former Intercontinental champion Cody Rhodes, and Kofi Kingston. The match itself really didn't have time to get underway before it was interrupted by the new Intercontinental champion The Big Show. Show treated the crowd with a clip of Cody being knocked out at Wrestlemania, and while Cody was distracted, Kofi took the opportunity to get the win.
The last match of the night was between The Miz and Zack Ryder, which I can only assume was supposed to be a continuation of the Team Johnny vs team Teddy match at Wrestlemania. Since Team Johnny won when the Miz pinned Ryder. There wasn't much change in this match either, Ryder continues to fail and Miz picks up another win. Too bad for Ryder, just when his career was starting to shed the goofball image.
Raw closed with John Cena finally coming out to address his loss to The Rock. He told us that now he considers the Rock a champion. (Huh? His multiple title runs didn't clue you in on that John?) And he also told us that he wasn't going to make any excuses and he was taking his loss like a man. He then invited Rock out to the ring so he could shake his hand personally.
This is where JR would say "Business is about to pick up!" because we were all treated with the surprise return of, none other than former champion and former UFC champion, Brock Lesnar. Now I'll admit, I was as giddy as a little kid at this point, I was so excited to see Brock come back and breath some life into the show, I can only hope Paul Heyman comes back to manage him like last time. But rather than try to explain what happened, I'll just show you. Enjoy!
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