The day after Raw

So last night Raw took place in our nations capitol of Washington DC. And it started right off with John Laurinaitis taking credit for bring Brock Lesnar back and then invited him to the ring. When Lesnar started speaking, he had barely gotten a few words out when he was interrupted by John Cena. Cena never took a microphone but you could hear him say to Brock, "I never got a chance to thank you for last week" with a big smile on his face. He then walked up to Brock and slapped him across the face. What came next was probably the best double leg takedown I have ever seen as Brock dumped Cena on his back and then proceeded to pound on him. The entire locker room quickly emptied and the ring filled with wrestlers and officials. It took pretty much everyone to separate the two. It was instantly evident however, that Cena took the worst of the encounter, having a big bruise on his jaw, a fat lip and a mouth full of blood. Looks like Lesnar got in one shot that wasn't a pulled punch.

Next was a tag team match that was basically a grudge rematch from last week. Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger versus Santino Morella and Brodus Clay. It was another typical cookie cutter good guy/bad guy match up where two of the more talented wrestlers on the roster were defeated by a walking comic strip and a dancing gorilla.

By the way, Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole .... the dinosaur discussion was not even slightly entertaining.

Then we cut away to Santino backstage looking for the evenings celebrity hosts, the "3 Stooges". Stars of this upcoming weekends theatrical tragedy ... er I mean comedy. Santino ends up stumbling upon Kane for was just standing behind a doorway in a corner for some reason. Morella then quickly ran off in fear.

We were then treated with a match between R Truth and Cody Rhodes. The match had barely begun when once again The Big Show came out and showed everyone footage of Cody losing to Kofi Kingston last week because he was watching footage of his Wrestlemania loss to the Big Show. A loss within a loss within a loss. (Inception?) Anyway, chalk up one more for The Big (Distracting) Show.

There was a brief but pointless backstage spot where Santino finds the 3 Stooges in a large shipping crate that was marked "Fragile" (with a backwards E), which Santino pronounced Fra-gi-lé and then commented on how it sounded Italian. (Okay I chucked at that part.)

Lord Tensai had a match next WWE's Japanese superstar Yoshi Tatsu. It turned out to be another squash match just like last weeks that again had to be stopped by the referee. I really wish someone would tell the writers that when a new guy has a debut, it makes them much more entertaining and intimidating if they have a great back and forth match and still come out the dominant competitor. Five minutes of manhandling someone half your size does not impress anyone.

Then we had basically a half hour segment of talk and then a match from CM Punk, he discussed the attacks by Jericho on his personal life and his straight edge lifestyle. And then he had a match with Mark Henry, a rematch from last week where Henry won by countout. The match lasted only a few minutes after CM Punk to it to the ringside area and bashed Henry in the head with a commentators monitor, getting himself disqualified.
I'd also like to say that I sympathize with CM Punk, being forced into this "alcohol abuse" angle that he is clearly uncomfortable doing.

Next was a pointless match between Zack Ryder and Alberto Del Rio where Alberto returns to winning and Zack keeps losing.

With a half hour left in the show the evening celebrity hosts, The 3 Stooges, finally came out to the ring, "Curly" entered by himself to the entrance music of "Real American" dressed as Hulk Hogan. He got in the ring, there was a slapstick and then "Curly" did his best Hogan impersonation. Which really wasn't that good, and also its old and tired since everyone on Earth has a Hogan impression up their sleeve. (Hogan however does a pretty good Randy Savage.) The crowd thankfully, let the 3 usurpers know that they were not appreciated. And thank god that Kane came out and ended it all with a chokeslam.

There were two promos backstage afterwards, the first was with Mark Henry when he was informed that he will get another match with CM Punk next week, and this one will be no DQ and no countout. Henry then forgot what title he was wrestling for when he declared he would be the next world heavyweight champion. (Strong like bull, smart like tractor.)

Then Brock Lesnar had his interview where he named himself a "war machine", and that he took Cena, and "knocked his pretty little mouth on his pretty little face." Did everyone eat a big bowl of dumbass this morning?

The final match of the evening was a match John Cena demanded. Laurinaitis placed him in a match against David Otunga. Now, Otunga is a great athlete with an imposing form but he really needs to stop posing during the match and focus on business at hand. Cena dispatched him with an "attitude adjustment" and then an STF submission. But before he could celebrate Cena was jumped from behind by Brock Lesnar and then treated to another F5.

After the show went off the air, Dolph Ziggler came out shooting his mouth off about Cena, John then planted him with an attitude adjustment so that the women and children in the crowd could apparently go home feeling good about themselves.